Kitty Tales

Kitty Tales 12‑2000

There was once a young man named Spiro who was having problems with his mate. He went to see this old drunk (who had a reputation as a Searcher of Truth and cheap booze) named Peloso. He found him laying down on the sidewalks in front of the Carnegie Center recuperating from the previous night libations (drunken binge). Spiro spoke to him:" I used to be a happy person. Sexually very active and life was an adventure every day. During the course of my dalliances I met my perfect complementary mate. We moved in. Ordinary tasks we did together became journeys of discovery. Just being in each other's presence made my being come fully alive and all my perceptions were enhanced."

Peloso looked up with bleary pink moist eyes. Belched a couple of times and nodded. The encouraged youngster continued: "It became like a drug. When my mate wasn't around I would go through withdrawals and the constant ache made me lash out and howl at the Universe. I have lost some friends. Chased them out of my life so I could have more time alone with my companion. Even though it is unreasonable, I wanted to be alone with my mate all the time. Our relationship has become a cage and we have started to resent each other's bars". At this point Peloso went from scratching his belly, to stroking his beard thoughtfully and said: "Continue". Encouraged Spiro continued. "I love my companion but if this suffocating each other's doesn't stop we'll end up hurting each other and splitting up! What can I do?"

By this time Peloso was fully entranced by the problem and to help cogitate asked for some orange juice with a tiny shot of vodka in it. Spiro knew the routine well and had come prepared with a thermos full of spiked orange juice. The first glass went down in one gulp. A couple of burps later (to clear his throat) Peloso answered: "It is a normal mechanism that mammals have. This bonding that happens is not rare. The body needs physical reassurance from other mammals and it is this need for affectionate physical stroking that forms the basis of how our society works.

Once you have opened yourself to this bonding. You have acquired the rush/heightened space that it provides. With it comes the fear that this plum may be withdrawn (as everything else that was excellent in your life was taken away from you) and it is this fear that becomes obsessive. But bodies don't have minds of their own and can easily be fooled. Whenever you feel this ache just go to the nearest warm mammal and give it some love and affection. The loving response you get back is what you need. The first step towards solving the problem is: to analyze what the problem is. That we have done. The second is to implement a solution. I have already advised you on what to do. So give me the rest of the orange juice and let me be".

Spiro did as he was advised and went home. It worked after a fashion. The ache did not disappear completely but was bearable and his relationship was able to continue to grow into a solid friendship. A remarkable side effect of this whole thing was that Spiro's cat became the most loved and loving animal on earth. And I should know 'cause my name is White Paw and I am that Cool Cat. (My owner named me Alfred but I do not use it). Thanks to Peloso I now lead a purr‑fect life. "More tuna casserole please".

Written in Vancouver.

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