Breaking Up and Breaking Down
I have locked myself in the bedroom and the man I love is outside, screaming “Go fuck yourself!” over and over and pounding on the door. I am crying so hard I feel like I’m going to puke my guts out.
Again.
This is the sixth or seventh time this has happened in the past year. I’ve lost count. It’s always something I did, or didn’t do, or something I said, or didn’t say, and he blows up like a roadside bomb.
What can I say about a man who says he loves me but treats me like shit?
What can I say about why I put up with it?
We’ve been together for a year. It was supposed to be for the rest of our lives. I loved him, and I believed him when he promised he would change.
He didn’t.
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I left him. That was two months ago.
Then my dad killed himself. That was one month ago.
I’m broke, sick, and miserable. But I am starting to put my life back together.
Thanks to all of you for your compassion and kindness.
There's not much I can do from down here. I'm sure others from this Sight who are closer can offer more then my printed words, like a sholder to cry on, or to hold your hand when you are down.
PLease be good to your self
We can't stop homelessness but we can help fight it.
FreddieCrazyThingCalledLove
Someone, somewhere, near Seattle
Law of attraction...Positive thoughts and actions brings Loving people to my Life..I can see a world where we come together,celebrate Life,dance and sing and embrace the unknown.
Hey Zoe,I have been reading some past reports,you have such a good style of writing that yes i was right there with you on those journeys....Your words really had an affect on me I just want to say my prayers are with you on a fast recovery to a healthy balanced Life.Thanks for the posting on the Levee Tour happening this Dec29th/07.It would be a great opportunity to meet you face to face...as well as protect MotherEarth from more "so called progress"Please feel free to drop me a line j_hock28@yahoo.ca or jhock@homelessnation.Much Respect.Sol,Sol,Solidarity....JH
That is so cool Jhock!
Zoe we are with you.
We can't stop homelessness but we can help fight it.
FreddieCrazyThingCalledLove
Someone, somewhere, near Seattle
heya Zoe
keep hanging in there, ok?
life is rough for most of us here, and many of us are in the same boat...with nowhere else to go but up! :)
Zoe,
From the begaining of the age of Men and male gods, it has been this way. Enlightment is so hard more soon ~~~~FreddieCrazyThingCalledLove
We can't stop homelessness but we can help fight it.
FreddieCrazyThingCalledLove
Someone, somewhere, near Seattle
Zoe
Some how we are trained to keep on fighting and that is exactly what you and I have been since birth. We as womyn, defenders of the land or human rights,finically impoverished are born fighters. We get our tenacity from our parents and the community we have grown up in. Sometimes we are the care takers sometimes we are the ones who need to be taken care of. We need more people like you who have been there for us now your part is to accept our shoulders when those tears start coming and never seem to end. Keep reaching and we will keep responding as long as you need us.
For those of you who don't know Zoe has been one of the major organizers for Bear Mountain tree sitters, wild earth and other events that promote defending mother earth.
Yeah, I'm still homeless but I'm soon to have a job and I can send some money to help support my brothers and sisters up there. It won't be much but i'm sure you can buy some beer and chips to help pass the time.
Besides, this message is good in case any other care to give for tree hugger's support.
Many Thanks,
Freddie
We can't stop homelessness but we can help fight it.
FreddieCrazyThingCalledLove
Someone, somewhere, near Seattle
its all data, just data
time is amazing
patience
you're not alone and even if you were would that be an excuse to self-destruct or maybe it would be better getting to a place where you have nothing to lose.
we can only do what we can and going crazy because there is stuff we cannot do is just silly
peace Zoe... freedom will take as long as it is going to take- it happens the fastest when we can just simply hold on to our centers in the middle of the whirlwind.