Well, my life is still shit, but I think its going to get better.
Well, my life is still shit, but I think its going to get better.
I've kicked all my habits (other than cigs, but I'm trying to quit..) I'm still flat ass broke. But at least i've got some resumes printed up & I'm out walking & job hunting each day. I was enrolled in college for awhile taking computer systems technologies.. but that came to a crashing halt. I got depressed when my grandma hit the hospital & we thought she way dying.. that & student loans never gave me any money. So I took a leave of absence for personal reasons. They agreed to hold a seat for me till next year. But I dunno if I'm going to make it. Right now my main priority is to try and find a job so I can make rent. I'm sure some where will hire me. Even if it's a mc'job I don't care. I dunno.. I'm really really stressed. I thought that by cleaning up off the drugs & going to lots of meetings & trying to go back to college my family would see that I'm trying & start helping me out. But they really don't care. My step dad won't even let me spend a night at his house to go visit my grandma in the hospital. *shrug* guess thats life. I really don't know what to do anymore other than find a job, any job & try not to jump off a bridge. I also have to thank the people here at HN & at the meetings. Its crazy that complete strangers can offer more support & kind words than a person's own flesh & blood. But I guess thats what I get for spending so long stuck in my addiction & ripping my life apart to the point where I was homeless. *sigh* If anyone has an ideas for me, or even just some kind words, I'd appreciate it. I feel so totally alone.
Good for you for working so hard to get away from bad habits. That takes so much courage and determination. I don't have any ideas for you I'm afraid. I think you're on the right track though. I just wanted to give you some encouraging words. :)
Take care and seek God!
allie
hang on, it seems like you have already overcome what will probably be the hardest part of your life-addiction and homelessness. the next part of rebuilding will take some time, but this is the part where you get to create your future, this is the good part.
family can be fucked up at times and depending on how long it has been since you have been doing good, it may take a while for those around you to realize that things are different now, that you can be trusted, and that you are working to make things better.
sometimes those close to us get stuck, just like we get stuck, in old ways of thinking. Ever find that when you are doing shitty, parents always seem to talk about when you were a little kid, when you do good they seem to remember when you were doing shitty-it's a bit of a wierd thing.
give them time, and give yourself kindness and credit because what you are doing is no small task. at the end of the day you have to be able to say to yourself 'i am proud, i am good' when that happens , those around you will also start to believe it.
as for the ideas...why won't they give you student loans? sometimes banks will give out low interest rates for education loans, maybe income assistance will pay for part of your education as job retraining?
in any case you will find a way, getting an education is a way out of poverty (well depending on the size of your loan-it can also be a way into poverty as well:)
hang on to that dream, cause doing a job you love will make you feel good at the end of the day. get the joe job for now or do it part time and go to school part time. maybe you can find a job within the computer field-sometimes colleges have postings for entry level jobs in the programs they offer. check with them, meet with the financial advisor, there are a ton of bursaries and scholariships out there you just have to ask about them. if you were a child in care or are first nations there is money for school as well.
i have no doubt that you are a resourceful, determined person. if you can get off the streets and off drugs you can find a way to go to school. remember, this is the easy part.
don't give up, remember all that you have accomplished and start building the life you deserve one step at a time. good luck to you. keep reaching out.
just want to say congrats on your clean journey,i'm of the same variety(total dopefiend)who finds it difficult to live life on life's terms,so i feel your pain and i sympathize with you.I would also like to say i am an infant in recovery so i don't have any brilliant original words of wisdom to give you other than to never lose sight of where you came from and try to be grateful for the simple things in life and for having the courage that you obviously have in sharing your trials and tribulatins afterall alot of us addicts don't even get to the chance to do that because some(lots)die of this addiction dealio!!hope this helps,asyou have helped me,thank you and i hope you never give up before the miracle happens for you cause i believe it will happen for you
I'd like to also say congratulations on being clean and the to become dependant on something that is so powerful thats takes control of our lives and then to get rid of the addiction is not easy. I've lost some close friends to drugs and my sister has as well kids in high school and older. It's beyond sad to see people ruining their lives, like spits says you really need to appreciate simple things in life, i think i've got a nack for this as i laugh and smile at probably some really dumb things and it makes people think i'm a little crazy but i've always been like that just enjoying every moment. I think there's a point everyone needs to be in drug rehab and it's when the only thing that make things better is drugs.
I'm glad to see you're doing better, how's your life been, by the way? This article is really old.. I've been through some hard times myself,just got out of a drug addiction treatment center and I'm trying to pick up my life, learn from my mistakes, and I found this site looking for a little support. Good luck for you !