Need some help in the parenting department.

Fraggle, how old is your little muffinhead? My daughter used to hit herself in the face to keep herself awake. It happens around 6 to 8 months with those rotten little, never-sleeping babies. :D

They think if they go to sleep they'll miss something good. Trouble is, when they're that young, you can't reason with them because they don't understand all the words yet. I went through it and I was a pain in the ass to my husband (now ex) because I was a very nervous mom and would feel like a failure if I couldn't make her go to sleep.

In summer, we started taking her out in her stroller, all bundled up for bed and within 15 minutes, (her arms were all bundled so she couldn't whack herself awake) she would conk out solid. We'd take her home and put her in her crib and dropping a rock on her head wouldn't wake her!

Then she caught on to the night-time stroller trips and used to cry herself awake while the two of us idiots walked faster around the neighbourhood, me crying, him getting frustrated with both of us. One night he borrowed a friend's car. We strapped her in the car seat, started the engine ... and she was gone. Blacked right out. Car rides worked for a while.

Finally, since it was winter and we couldn't borrow the car every night, I was at home, rocking her one night and she was crying in anger and whapping herself in the head and I was crying and feeling like an idiot mother and finally my husband yelled, "Enough!"

He took the baby from me, made me kiss her, carried her gently to her room, put her in her crib and said, "Honey, it's bed time. All little girls are in bed sleeping right now and it's time for you to do the same so you'll stay healthy and grow up big and strong. Lie down, go to sleep, and we'll have fun when the sun comes up. Daddy and Mommy love you."

Then he walked out of the room and closed her door. Well, she was major pissed off! She screamed and whacked and cried and we were in the living room, sitting down for a change and my husband made me go for a walk to the corner store so I wouldn't have to hear her tantrum. By the time I got back (an hour later) she was asleep. This took about five days. Sometimes we would go and sit on the floor outside the apartment and play cards and we were there in case the fire alarm went off or something. Each day he would take her to bed, explain that all little children need their sleep, kissed her goodnight and closed her bedroom door behind him.

She cried every night, a bit less each time. Finally, we were able to say, "Bed time!" and she would get this expression like, "Oh, crap! I was having fun!" But she'd go. No crying, no arguing. The parents need the babies to go to bed at 7 or 8 too! They work hard all day and they need a rest from parenting. That's called "bedtime."

If your munchkin barfs once on herself, I'd suggest you bathe her and dress her for bed again. Explain in a loving tone that she must go to bed. Then kiss her, say good night and leave. She may make herself hurl again but if you go in and clean her up ... AGAIN ... SHE wins the fight but she loses her food and will get hungry before breakfast!

I know it's tough to be loving but firm, but that's the way it's gotta be! Remember, intentional puke will not kill her. I know you'll feel bad putting her to bed, knowing what she's probably doing in there and it will feel icky on her for an hour or two if she upchucks again but if it's night, she WILL fall asleep eventually because they have to! They can't stay up 24/7.

You don't have to be mad at her, cuz you know she just wants to stay up and be with you two, but she has to learn that bedtime happens every night, usually around the same time and tell her then when we sleep at night and then the sun comes up, we can have a nice new day.

It worked excellently for me. Hope this helps.

Kat

I am wondering too about the age.We got one of those swings and would put him in it and the rocking lulled him to sleep..then we would move him..or a jolly jumper..he would bounce himself to sleep..I know sleep dep well.My little guy still got up four times a night at 9 months..I felt truly demented.
Sounds really messy..I would try swing and jumper..keep her beside you while you watch the tube..just turn the lights off and tv down.Maybe doing that will help for now..I know it is a bit overwhelming right now but this stage will pass..and welcome to zombie land..stays that way for awhile.. ;)

I've heard of kids doing this before - but never found out about a "miracle" solution. When behaviour becomes extreme, deviant and/or potentially dangerous - the best course of action, in my opinion, is zero tolerance. ZT can work very effectively - but must be maintained rigidly (no exceptions) and can only be used with very bad behaviour.

This is essentially Katgrrl's suggested method - Lights out, see you in the morning.

If this is a step that you're not yet willing to take, maybe you could try Reallove's suggestion first. Instead of putting Kali down for a nap, stay with her until she falls asleep. This might be time consuming but maybe you'll get some rest too. This choice might be a bit riskier: she might grow out of this stage, or it might only be delayed. You could help her move out of this stage by being more firm with all around for a bit. She's just discovering that you and her are separate entities (if she is indeed around 6 or 8 mos) and she's just testing the boundaries.

I'll do some more research in my old child development textbooks and get back to you if I find anything worthwhile.

Good luck!

Thanks everyone for the hasty reply, it means alot , as I am grasping at straws here.

She is just about 16months old. Ignoring or the ZT approach seems to be the unanimous opinion. I went through a similar situation with her when she was about 6-7 months old when we decided no more co sleeping and moved her off to her own crib. She didnt really gag herself, she screamed as if she was on fire but eventually fell asleep. The problem is, I dont have the money to be able to do 3 loads of laundry a day hence the reason it is hard for us to ignore her. She is going to be starting daycare in less then a week, I think this may help ALOT.
I guess we will see.
Thanks so much for your advice!
-=f=-

better to die on your feet then live on your knees

hey fraggle don't know what to tell you but I am sure that you and your husband will figure something out and hopefully soon. All that I can say is just breath and everything will again hopefully be fine.

Take care,

Trevor

will she fall asleep anywhere else? just wondering if it is crib specific. if so you may have some luck with the other suggestions of having her fall asleep elsewhere (couch beside you, stroller...) then putting her to bed once she is asleep.

not being a parent i am guessing here, but i would like to point out that the vomiting aspect puts it in a different catagory as far as ignoring it goes, cause you want to make sure she is not in a position to choke on the vomit.

you are an amazing parent fraggle, i know you guys will figure this out, and hopefully get some sleep soon. call me if you need any support.