Part 1 of my rant of today's society

Ok. For the second time :-S (im doing this from my cell phone because i don't have a computer, i accidentall hit the cancel button and deleted it the first time. Arrrgh!) Anyways this second time isn't going to be as concise as the first one for two very legitimate reasons. One: Plain and simple, i'm just too lazy.
It is just way too much of a bitch to retype this with my cell - seeing as what i originally had took me almost an hour to get down. I'm not going through that again; and Two, i found a better, more efficient way of getting this down before i probably accidentally delete this again. LOL.

Back to business. First, a bit about me: on the 25th of june, i will have been in vancouver for exactly three months; three days before i got on the bus to come out here, i just HAD to make a split decision not even five minutes after waking up and hopping off my bunk with only one shoe on - while hopping up on the bottom bunk to get my other shoe, i slipped - needless to say, i broke my foot. It still hurts to stand on it for more than 7 or 8 hours. I need to be able to be pain free for a minimum of 12 hours - yes people, i can say with pride and dignity that i am a 'rent-a-cop' and have been for over two years. I could KILl it in this city if my foot wasn't still fucked up. If i could work, you'd better damn well believe that that's exactly what i'd be doing. I love spending money way too much to ever be satisfied with the combined support of a 'whopping' $287 me and the boyfriend get every month. How does the BC government expect TWO people to make that stretch in one month? It usually lasts a couple of days. As a licenced and security, and with the experience i have - both type and time - i can expect to earn anywhere between $12 and $14 dollars an hour to start.

So understand these two things: if i could work, i'd definately be doing that instead of the current alternative - i actually enjoy the job and the type work that goes along with it; i only pan because it is directly connected with my survival - as in if i dont pan i wont have money to buy food, and how exactly am i supposed to survive if i have nothing to eat?
Anyways, on to the original point i was trying to make (i have ADHD, i go off on A LOT of tangents :-P).

Have you ever noticed that when someone seems to be doing something out of the 'goodness of their hearts', it's really not the case and really their brains with a warm rush of endorphines as the proverbial pat on the head for doing whats considered a 'good deed' by society as a whole.
Phew...thats probably gonna be a lot to, so im taking a break so you can let that sink in. Especially, since what im about to tell you next will totally blow your collective minds.

Ok. So here it is. While panning these past couple of months, i've noticed, through careful observation, that the people who give me money can, more or less, be divided into three groups. Theres the group that actually care about your well-being and feel that they are actually making a difference with the never ending cycle of stupidity that is the downtown eastside as well as most of vancouver. Then there's the group who think they are performing a 'good deed' but in reality are only alieving their own fears and insecurities by looking 'good' in front of others around them. Then, of course, is the last group; these are the people who embarass and make fools of themselves in front of their friends and strangers alike, and feel that tossing you some change will help them 'save face'. Even though it's hard to believe, these three groups all have something in common. When they help us, their brain responds with a flood of chemicals that makes that particular person feel 'good'. We have been taught from infancy that if we 'do the right thing' we will be rewarded. You know that warm, rushy feeling you help someone in need? Next time you get like that, don't brush it of or take it for granted; think about the fact that there's really no difference between you and the typical drug addict. We are all after the same thing in the end - feeling good.
There's also some fundamental differences between the three groups of people i had previously mentioned.

The first group, in my opinion, are the least selfish. These are the people who understand that there are legitimate reasons why people can't work; they are the people who, when they can't give you money give you food or smokes instead. These are also the people who shouldn't have to help but do anyways because they remember that they to were once in your position, and wouldn't ever think to wish that on anyone. When we first started panning at waterfront, we actually had one guy who looked like he was maybe marginally better off than we were actually kneel down to our level and ask us how we were doing and what was going on with us. He was genuinely concerned. It was like he hated the fact that we had to swallow our pride (it still showed at the time - now i just don't care anymore) and essentially beg for our survival. Like maybe it struck too close to home. He gave us ALL the change he had on him at the time, which was around five or six bucks. Fucking - A!!

The second group, while still genuinely thinking they are helping out, do it for the personal gratification they feel after said 'act of kindness' is performed. These are also the hypocrites that feel that they can mold us to fit into what they think is 'normal'. Most of society fits into this category, and while there really isn't anything...